What's in a Dream? - Lifestyle Writing

When I was about 18, I declared to myself that someday I would love to marry a kindhearted veterinarian who embraced all critters, enjoyed travelling and appreciated nature. At that stage of my life, I was competing with horses, had gorgeous pooches and worked at an equine hospital. It seemed like a natural request to put out to the universe.

It wasn’t long after this my then Thoroughbred filly, Elle, rolled into a fence and wrapped a wire around one of her hind legs. She needed emergency attention and numerous stitches near the joint to keep the deeply severed wound together. Enter the smart, worldly and animal loving locum vet from Mildura.

Although he was about 10 years older than me, we went on a date. (I found out he’d been asking about me and subtly expressed my interest by leaving a single red rose on the windscreen of his car.)

It was while we were out for dinner that he told me he had an affinity for older women, particularly Italian. I was crushed.

Within a couple of months, he returned to Mildura.

That was the only time I ever dated a vet. But since early 2015, I have been having some interesting interaction with a high-profile vet — on the astral plane, that is.

It’s what I call my dream-drama series.

To date, it totals 11.5 dreams, with each one presenting a new scene, so to speak.

Although this veterinarian is popular, I’ve never been attracted to him.

Don’t get me wrong, I love what he does for the animal kingdom. But he keeps reappearing in my dreams with some key messages and reflections about myself and some people who are or have been in my life.

Although most of the dreams are crystal-clear to me in terms of what they are conveying, it’s important to note they are my dreams, not a real-life portrayal of who this individual is.

Of course it would be more compelling to say who they are, but in this case I will call him Ed.

Dream One

This first dream was set in an outback environment. We were walking, talking and laughing, simply getting along. At first, it felt like we could have been there for work purposes, but Ed started taking the friendly banter up a notch. He was being flirtatious. I was a little surprised and intrigued but left it as it was.

Dream Two

This dream was set in a similar environment to the first one, somewhere in the country. Again, Ed was being fun and flirtatious. In fact, he was so keen, he asked me out on a date. I was flattered, but thought, ‘is it worth going out with someone I’m not really interested in?’ I like to think that I’m true to myself, especially listening to my intuition as to what’s right or wrong for me. I also like to be authentic with others. My feeling was that while he was nice, Ed could potentially be difficult to be around. Was I making an assumption and a judgement?

Dream Three

Despite me not giving a clear-cut answer to him in the second dream, and still having reservations, Ed persisted, asking me out again and again. In the end, I thought, ‘what the heck. I’ve got nothing to lose. It could be a bit of fun. It’s an opportunity to see if my intuition is on the mark and what he’s really like’.

Dream Four

That first date turned into several. Each one was simply having some social outings. I also realised that Ed was lovelier and more aligned with me than I first thought. We were enjoying each other’s company and I was happy to continue doing so.

Dream Five

Things continued to go along nicely. After Ed initially pursued me, I rang him to confirm a dinner date that we’d arranged. He seemed distant and distracted when we spoke, saying he was super busy, but he was still up for it. After our dinner date, we went back to his place. The next thing I knew, I was lying in a bed one level just below a loft space and next to the stairs, while Ed was in bed with another woman. Clearly, I felt rejected and on the outer.

Dream Six

Despite feeling rejected, and knowing that I wouldn’t treat someone like that, Ed continued to call me. I asked him what he really wanted, given he seemed to be interested in another. He was apologetic, telling me he was confused and it didn’t mean anything. He realised it was me that he was really interested in. I said, “I’m worth way more than this. I wish you all the best.”

Dream Seven

Despite me saying no, Ed continued to call, leave messages, gifts and flowers. In addition to being overly apologetic, he shared that he was scared of being truly loved. He wanted another chance; he was ready to receive love. I accepted his apology but stated some clear, healthy boundaries, including that we would only go on social dates for a while to see how things went. There was not going to be any lovemaking until both of us felt truly aligned.

Dream Eight

We continued to date socially and enjoyed each other’s company. Then one day, Ed took my hand, warmly smiled and looked deeply into my eyes and said, “I love you.” I truly felt seen, heard and cherished in that moment. I felt overwhelming love. It was at that exact moment I woke up.

Dream Nine

Ed and I were travelling together somewhere in Europe. It felt like we were hiking on a trail similar to the Camino de Santiago. We were traversing in and out of small, remote villages, reflecting on how things could be improved for all sentient beings. As we approached one of the villages, some locals came running out, warning us that there were some armed rebels. As we walked past a stone wall, suddenly we had to crouch down as they started firing on the village. Despite spraying bullets, they mostly lodged in the wall. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. Although a little startled, we managed to dust ourselves off and continue our travels in peace.

Dream Ten

Enthusiastic about having a wonderful life together — the ultimate sacred union — Ed and I were going over the plans that had been drawn up for our new eco-friendly house. What he was most interested in (although I wondered why in the dream) was showing me the plans for the barn, which was to have stables. When I asked how many stables it was going to have, he said, “Three.” Interestingly, and if you’re into numerology, my life path number is three.

Dream Eleven

Given how private Ed is, I was surprised when he was literally jumping out of his skin and shouting his declaration of love for me to the world. He was so elated that he wanted to share it with everyone. He was being open, honest and willing to show up.

Dream Eleven and a Half

The reason I call this a half-dream is because although I was present, I was more of an observer. Neither I nor Ed were technically appearing in this dream together. There was a feeling of sex being used as dominance or power play. But what was most unsettling was the appearance of an intensely jealous woman who was filled with rage. She was shouting to others that he was impotent and emotionally inept. She told me, “You’ve been f****d over.”

Before publishing this blog post, I did share it with a couple of people who are interested in dream interpretation, to get some additional insight. As one wise, gifted friend pointed out, many of these incidences reflected me attracting people into my life who were self-sabotaging. She was right.

In turn, I realised I had to look at my true self-worth (again), and how I was doing this to myself. In my 20s and early 30s in particular, there were instances where I had been subconsciously sabotaging myself. I thought I had moved beyond it.

Fortunately, this dear friend gave me some tips on how to reprogram my subconscious through lucid dreaming (being aware that you are dreaming.) So far, I’ve called in the fifth dream in this series and was clear about how I wanted it to play out — with mutual respect, truth, authentic connection and love. I directed it in the direction I know I am worthy of.

And guess what? I did.

Without any expectation as to whether it would work or not, I managed to reprogram that dream. It portrayed effortlessness, enjoyment and harmony.

I’ll be interested to see how it is reflected in my waking life.

Then again, I once had a dream about George Clooney. We were walking hand in hand on a large horse property.