As usual, the silly season has arrived with gusto. November went in the blink of an eye, yet Christmas-related happenings always seem to start earlier and earlier.
I mean, stores usually have their Christmas merchandise, let alone window decorations, sorted by September. Apparently, to avoid the “stress” of the Christmas rush, we need to start shopping early.
I’m all for being organised, but starting Christmas shopping and social get-togethers earlier still doesn’t eliminate the overall pressure of this time of year. It prolongs it.
So here’s a novel — although not entirely new — idea for those who like to celebrate Christmas: slow down and don’t buy (or at least significantly cut down on) presents.
Instead, be PRESENT.
To be clear, this isn’t about becoming heartless or a tight-arse. (This is, after all, a Grinch- and Bah Humbug-free zone.) Nor is it about becoming an extreme minimalist.
To me, the whole point of Christmas is that it’s an opportunity to spend time with the ones you love and/or connect with new, likeminded people, as well as share food, conversation and laughter at the table.
In essence, Christmas is supposed to be meaningful, enjoyable and simple. It’s not supposed to be stressful — mentally, emotionally or financially — nor lonely or isolating.
The spirit of Christmas all comes down to how you approach it and not letting supposed expectations or consumerism dictate otherwise.
For me, this Christmas is going to be the quietest I’ve ever had. That’s because I’ve consciously chosen it to be that way. It’s the beauty of life and this time of year — it’s always different.
Last year, I spent Christmas Day with a couple of family members and a gathering of my brother’s neighbours, a neighbour’s extended family and those whose families were unable to spend time with them, or were flying solo.
This somewhat mixed group comprised some old but mostly new faces (totalling about 15), all sitting under a vine-clad veranda on a hillside. Everyone bought some food and drank wine and carafes of lemon water.
It was convivial, to say the least. In fact, it was almost like being in Tuscany on a hot summer’s day.
So here are some nifty, stress-free ways to put the genuinely happy and meaningful elements back into Christmas and the end of year:
Savour Simple, Healthy, Home Cooked Food
Whether they were large or small gatherings, I’ve been fortunate to have had relatively stress-free Christmases. That’s partly due to my family’s approach to placing more emphasis on everyone preparing and contributing something healthy, ethical and enjoyable to share at the table.
With that in mind, it’s not about slaving away in the kitchen. It’s about creating simple, tasty, nourishing food with sincerity and enjoyment.
As a token of appreciation, the host on the day usually receives something homemade, like bliss balls, tasty dips or preserves, or freshly picked summer berries. Alternatively, it’s something like a bottle of good-quality olive oil or a bunch of fresh cut wildflowers from the farmers’ markets.
And if you need to order something foodwise, do so in advance, especially from artisan producers that are focused on creating quality fare with love and respect, not mass production.
Ditch the Expectations
If you decide not to buy and request not to receive any gifts at Christmas, let those who you would normally buy for (and vice versa) know in advance. It might be unusual for them, but explain why you have made your choice. It could have a domino effect.
Of course, if they choose to buy you a gift, that is their prerogative. Accept it graciously and with love. It might take a few Christmases for all parties to get in sync.
At the same time, it’s not about “You got me something, therefore, I need to give something back in return.” While we want fairness in the world, and need to be able to be open to giving and receiving, the idea is to simplify Christmas and celebrate it with meaning. It’s not about feeling guilty that someone has done you a kindness.
If you feel overwhelmed by the social events leading up to Christmas, cut back on those, too. It’s always great to catch up with people, especially those you collaborate with or haven’t seen for a while, but select a few outings, rather than all of them.
Otherwise, if we continue to feed the manic energy and expectations of the silly season, it only amplifies it.
Go Stress- and Debt-Free
Australia already has a whopping credit card debt. So when it comes to Christmas, apparently Aussies are expected to spend something like $8.8 billion on Christmas presents alone, with more than half of that purchased on credit cards. That’s a lot of people spending way above their means.
While it’s in our nature to want to give at this time of year, be honest with yourself about what you can afford. It doesn’t make you a lesser person.
Often it’s embarrassing to admit that you have a debt, let alone that you can’t actually afford presents, but it’s far more courageous, healthy and empowering to be upfront. If others are disappointed, that’s for them to deal with. Don’t let it add to what is already a challenging situation.
Sometimes you have to be the example to change things for the better.
Gift Experiences, Not Things
If you absolutely feel compelled to buy presents for others, gift them experiences, not things. This could include taking them out for a meal and conversation at a later date, or going to something like a relaxing pure sound meditation event. Even packing a picnic and going for a hike in the forest is uplifting and enjoyable.
What’s more, it doesn’t have to be expensive. The idea is that experiences are memorable, preferably shared.
For those under the age of seven, buy them engaging books. While they are technically tactile things, stories can bring a sense of fun and insight. They last a lifetime and can be shared from one generation to the next.
Alternatively, make a donation to an organisation of your or the recipient’s choosing. Or, buy a card that will help give a family a chicken, as well as an income and some eggs, like Oxfam Unwrapped does.
If all else fails, put more emphasis into the gift giving at birthdays. It enhances the sense of personalisation, rather than being another number to check off the Christmas gift list.
Alternative and Relaxing Ways to Enjoy Christmas Day
When it comes to Christmas Day, it doesn’t need to be stressful. With so many families having extended families, geographically speaking, people are all over the place. It’s not always possible to spend time with everyone.
Again, don’t push yourself to please others’ expectations. Create healthy boundaries and do what feels right for you.
While Christmas is about giving, think about giving back to yourself with self-care and self-love.
And if you feel at a bit of a loose end on Christmas Day, here’s some healthy, enjoyable alternatives:
- Have a sleep in. Yes, this one could be a little challenging for those who have young kids, but encourage them to do fun things, like listen to music (with headphones), colour in, play games or read.
- Do an extended meditation session and/or home-based yoga. You can do it solo or with some friends at your house, in the garden, at a park or the beach. Some might want to play golf or go for a surf.
- Have a healthy, leisurely brunch made from scratch with local, seasonal and organic produce.
- Head out on a nature trail, be it a half-day hike or bike ride.
- Given it’s summer in the southern hemisphere, and weather permitting, take the dog and/or the family to the beach and go for a swim.
- Have a picnic in the garden, on the veranda or in the lounge room.
- Have a casual barbecue with the neighbours, with everyone contributing something.
- Have a long, relaxing soak in the bath.
- Watch docos that uplift and inspire you.
- Read that book you’ve always wanted to.
Basically, have a day off.
Whatever you do, make sure it’s simple and enjoyable.
If you’re still wanting to celebrate it on a more moderate level, read my “Nine Ways to Keep Christmas Simple and Merry”.
At the very least, may Christmas be blissful for you and your loved ones.
With love, Kristin xo
Words & Images by Kristin Lee
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