Why Dating for a Cause is worth it (Even if it doesn't go to plan)

Earlier this year, I created a small fundraising initiative-cum-social experiment of sorts: Seven Dates in Seven Weeks for charity. It was to support The Good Life Farm’s remarkable ‘grassroots healing’ programs that assist at-risk youth.

For me, the concept, which I was inspired to do after participating in something similar — Five in Five — a couple of years ago, was an opportunity to do more than share the story and raise awareness about The Good Life Farm. It was putting myself out there, especially since I was approaching people, including random strangers, to make donations and find seven suitable dates to go on — the old-fashioned way.

Overall, it was creating a sense of connection.

Many loved the idea. In fact, some (of various ages and mostly women) asked if it was worthwhile doing.

Of course it is.

Bear in mind, though, solo fundraising, let alone finding seven suitable dates, not only takes time and effort, it takes guts and having faith in yourself.

Some insights from Seven Dates in Seven Weeks for charity

Although I started off with a positive, this is doable approach, and had some interest and donations within the first couple of days of launching, within a week it started to stall.

A couple of supposedly arranged dates disappeared; one reappeared after a ‘diplomatic’ prod from a friend. People assured they would donate. Some kindly did; some didn’t for all manner of reasons.

Without doubt, my priority was to raise $700 for The Good Life Farm. In the scheme of things, it’s not a lot of money, but it still makes a difference.

Did I achieve that? Not exactly. I was about $200 short of my goal.

Having always previously exceeded my fundraising goals, this was unexpected.

I was disappointed.

At the same time, I was grateful for the donations from friends and family. But given there are so many charities and people in need, sometimes it becomes overwhelming to support various fundraisers.

I was also grateful for those who suggested, passed on or encouraged suitable dates through their networks. Most of my friends and network have partners and family, so, as they say, they didn’t really know any suitable single people.

Although the intention was to go on seven dates (there were a couple of last minute cancellations), I met three lovely men.

Did I expect to go on seven dates? Not at all. For me, dating is about quality, not quantity. In this case, it was part of the cause.

What was also interesting was the initial responses and/or interpretations about what I was doing, particularly from men.

Here’s what some dates and/or friends said:

“Why would a decent guy want to go out with a woman who was going on seven dates with seven different men?” My response: “It’s a fundraising activity. If I go on seven different dates, bonus. If I go on seven dates with the same man, the planets have aligned — EXTRA BONUS!”

“This sounds like a reality TV show.” My response: “There are many layers to this. Reality TV is definitely not one of them.”

Feedback from Date no.1: “When I first heard about this, I thought it was a scam. Now that I’ve done it, I realised how great this actually is … and I want to start doing more things for charity. C’mon guys, do this!” My response: “Thanks for your honesty, and for clarifying any Chinese whispers, Date no.1.” He also kindly paid for dinner, walked me to my car and made a donation. Job done.

While it took a lot of effort, belief and perseverance to make Seven Dates in Seven Weeks for charity happen, here’s what I found worked:

1. Be prepared to spread the message far and wide. Of course you can share it on social media, and invariably you’ll get lots of likes, enthusiasm and emoticons. With that in mind, I found those who tagged and/or messaged other single men generally didn’t respond, or would make light of it. It was too public and/or embarrassing for them. It’s better to put it in a way that you’re asking them directly for help.

2. When you do use social media, tag people or identities that you admire and follow — not necessarily to date them (unless you want to) — but to help share your message and/or support your cause. It’s also better to tag one identity/person at a time, not several. It’s more personable.

3. Speaking of which, be personal, genuine and enthusiastic with your approach when asking for donations and seeking dates. I would email or speak with people one-on-one, not bcc them. Even while I was at the likes of my physio or hairdresser, I would let them know what I was doing and ask if they knew anyone suitable.

4. I also approached community radio and ended up having a couple of fun and decent chats. Most of all, it helped share The Good Life Farm’s story. Depending how far you want to go, you can share your fundraising cause with the likes of your local newspaper, create a podcast, vlog or YouTube clip. While you want to share the message, it’s important to retain the integrity of what you are doing.

5. Whether communicating verbally or in writing, be clear and succinct about what help you need. Avoid a long-winded essay on email or social media. Also, create a simple but catchy title/header that has a call to action. People need to know what you would like them to do. I used a variety of calls to action, including: ‘Help me support at-risk youth’; ‘Help make a difference, one date and donation at a time’; or ‘I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date! I need Seven Dates in Seven Weeks and $700 for CHARITY!’

6. Have a direct link to the donations page, be it via an email or on social media. For example, set up a donation page on Facebook and/or create a group. In my case, I had a blog post, and given the modest amount I was seeking, I didn’t create a group page on Facebook for this purpose. Plus, by making the donation directly to The Good Life Farm, and with them being a registered charity, donors were issued with a tax deductible receipt.

7. Look at a fundraiser like an adventure, and be grateful and celebrate each donation. And remember to thank your donors personally and/or acknowledge them (with permission) by name for their contribution. While it might seem like a bit of extra effort, a phone call, face-to-face catch up or handwritten card or note expressing your thanks can work wonders.

8. If potential dates need some encouragement to actually make it happen, let them think of it like a networking opportunity. There’s no pressure. Most of all, remind them that it’s for charity. At the very least, it makes for great conversation.

9. When fundraising and dating, don’t put any expectations on the date to donate and/or pay for the date, especially if it’s more than a meet, chat and a coffee. In my case, I was fortunate all three dates paid for the date and/or donated.

Overall, dating for a cause taught me a lot about myself. As a writer, I have written a lot copy for organisations, including those seeking funding, which they more than achieved. When it came to creating my own fundraising initiative, it was a valuable lesson in striking the balance between being overly giving and being open to truly asking for and receiving help.

While I devoted a designated amount of time each week, I would also allow some days of breathing space. It was during those those times that new ideas on how to share the message would come about.

I also set clear intentions to the universe when needed, such as, “If you want me to raise the $700 for The Good Life Farm, I need you to deliver it with ease and flow.” I would then let it go so there was no attachment to any outcome. Interestingly, donations came within a few hours of doing this.

Whatever the outcome with your fundraising efforts, be grateful and enjoy. We’re all doing the best we can to give back however we can. Although it’s probably best not to do during a Venus retrograde period like I did.