Just as the seasons turn, we invariably have change in our lives. For me, this has been a particularly strong theme in the past couple of years. Although the doors may close so that new ones open, sometimes the distance between the two can be long, uncertain, even lonely, no matter how open we are to wonderful opportunities. That’s why I recently went to my first Red Tent event.
There was a time when women would gather in their tribe, village or community to share wisdom, nurture one another and be supportive. Today, our ultra-modern Western culture encourages independence, which generally means we soldier on, regardless of what is thrown our way. We tend to feel uncomfortable about sharing our challenges and struggle to ask for help.
Many of us avoid speaking up, thinking it will make things easier.
Or we feel guilty that we might hurt another’s feelings.
Instead, we stuff our stuff — those things that need releasing — down further.
Most of all, we feel disconnected from our sisterhood.
Sure, I go to yoga, meditation and Pilates classes, and I have a spotty dog that attracts lots of attention when walking. I go to the odd networking event, am a member of writing groups and online communities, and try new things. I also meet inspirational people for articles or content that I write. They are all things I love doing.
I also have a need to have some time to myself to regroup — although not quite like a yogi in a cave — mostly work from home and am capable of doing things on my own.
But, as I’ve come to realise, my independent way of being has actually come at a cost, particularly emotionally and energetically.
At the same time, it seems that we are experiencing a stirring — a yearning — for something more fulfilling and healing to express our authentic selves.
We are longing for a place where we aren’t competing, comparing or just another number. It’s a place where we can allow ourselves to be ourselves: raw and vulnerable. We can let the laughter or tears flow with open-hearted, likeminded women.
It’s a place where we can be embraced as we tune in to the shadow aspects of ourselves.
What’s more, there is no judgement.
There’s no busyness or multitasking.
Instead, there is nothing but liberation.
How the Red Tent Came About
It seems Red Tents are flourishing around the world, particularly since the release of Anita Diamant’s 1997 novel, The Red Tent. Although it’s fiction, it’s thought by some (there are a few theories) that Red Tents, also known as menstrual huts, blood temples or moon lodges, occurred in times past, possibly as far back as 800 CE.
The Red Tent was where women would go to retreat while menstruating.
It was a place to rest, share feminine wisdom and take care of one another before returning to their families, duties or communities.
As time moved on, apparently the Red Tent was lost.
Reclaiming the Feminine with Red Tents
Although women don’t have to be menstruating when attending a Red Tent nowadays, overall it’s a gathering of women from all walks of life at the time of the new moon. At its essence, it’s a sacred space, be it a room at a facilitator’s house or a hired venue. It could even be a teepee or a belle tent.
The idea is that a Red Tent is candlelit and draped in red fabric to represent the womb. It honours the beginning of a new cycle, both in life and as an acknowledgement of a woman’s menstrual cycle.
So after inadvertently noticing a local Red Tent event being held with experienced facilitator and holistic therapist Georgie Clark in the Dandenong Ranges, I was intrigued.
I literally didn’t know another soul attending this small, intimate gathering. What I did know was that it was an opportunity to share; to allow myself to be seen, to be heard and, in turn, to be there for others.
It was an opportunity to tap into the deeper feminine with other women.
Although the intention of connection, solace and sanctity form the basis of each Red Tent, there are variations as to how they are run.
In my case, each woman brought a plate of food to share, enjoy and bond over before the proceedings (circling) began.
Following our meal, we sat in a circle, centering ourselves with a few deep breaths. Each woman then progressively had a turn to speak openly and honestly about any challenges or feelings they were experiencing. The kind of things that might otherwise be considered taboo or are not normally spoken about, including with some of our friends.
The beauty of the Red Tent is that each woman is given a turn to speak without being interrupted. As to the nature of the subject, it simply flows pending what comes up for the individual. It’s only after a woman has had her turn to speak that others may offer their insights or thoughts.
The other thing that struck me, and as the wise and attuned Georgie mentioned, is that it’s usually the person sitting either side and opposite you whose stories will resonate strongest.
Before each woman spoke, however, we selected an oracle card and considered its meaning. More often than not, these usually resonate with where we are at, although some may not see the underlying meaning straight away.
I received the Angel of Guidance — indicating that a renewed sense of direction or path would soon manifest. Interestingly, I was literally at a crossroads coming to this event.
Seeing the card, I realised it was about wholeheartedly trusting and surrendering to the process: to life. It was also about realising that I was actually going through a period of gestation, not physically being pregnant, but preparing myself to birth new projects and ideas into the world.
I had to be even more patient than what I was normally accustomed to.
Sometimes it’s about reminding ourselves that the answers are within, particularly in the depths of our shadows. Just asking the question or even acknowledging what it is in the company of others can be transformational. Because it’s when we are being heard by others, whether they are young, mature or wise, that we are able to see our inner reflection. Our innate wisdom is revealed.
Post the Red Tent
Interestingly, my period (although a few days away) started as soon as I got home from the Red Tent event. Then, the following day, I was walking in a nature reserve and found money on the trail. The day after that, a friend I hadn’t heard from in aeons wanted to catch up. And a week later, one of my passion projects gradually gathered momentum.
Since then, there has been more flow of wonderful like-mindedness in my life.
I feel more connected and more contentment.
Life is unfolding as it is meant to.
There’s a deep sense of renewal, grounding and revelation with a Red Tent, more so than any other women’s circle I have been to. It’s where strangers come together to be open-hearted and courageously real and then leave feeling more supported and empowered — as if we are one.
What’s your experience of a Red Tent or women’s circle?
By Kristin Lee
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